On Accepting New Challenges
As you probably have guessed, I'm not one to shirk challenges. I like challenges. I go at them with full-force and if I have a goal, I will be sure to achieve it. My drive is a trait that has served me well throughout my life, and I'm really glad I have it.
So, post-accident, I made myself a goal. My goal was to go back to work five months after the accident. I missed work, I missed using my brain, I missed seeing my work family every day, and I was finding myself getting bored at home.
While most people thought this goal was too lofty, the doctors couldn't argue with the remarkable progress I had made, and so they didn't try to dissuade me (too much). I'm guessing they realized that I would have to figure out for myself that it was too soon.
And so, I went back to work, on March 10th and by March 31st, I realized it was too soon. The first week I thought I just need to get used to it again. The second week I thought that maybe it was too soon, but perhaps I could just push through. And by the third week, I admitted to myself that it was too soon.
As you can imagine, it was hard for me to realize it was too soon and for me to say that I need to step back. My children were the biggest reason for this - I didn't want to end up going backward in my recovery out of stubbornness and risk my ability to take care of them.
So, I went back to the Shock Trauma Neuro Team and they referred me to Dr. Kortte at Hopkins. I've seen her twice now so far. First an intake and then a follow-up to discuss strategies.
I had no idea what going to a neuropsychologist would be like, but I have found that I like Dr. Kortte very much. She is clearly smart, and is also very warm, humorous, and genuine. She explained that had I been her patient, she would have tried very hard to dissuade me from going back to work so soon. I laughed and said I wouldn't have listened.
Here's what I've learned: skin heals in days to a week, bones heal in weeks to months, and the brain takes months to years to heal. And even though I've made such remarkable progress, there is still progress to be made. And unlike the body, pushing the brain too much doesn't build muscle, it actually causes the brain to get over-stimulated and to sort of shut down.
So now, my new challenge is to look past my natural inclination to push myself. I have to look for symptoms of over-stimulation (headache, cloudy thinking, and fatigue), and when I notice them, I have to stop what I'm doing and rest, reducing stimulation as much as possible.
It is going to take everything I've got not to push myself too much, not to feel like I'm being lazy, and not to try to make the healing process take less time than it should. This may be my biggest challenge yet. I'm up for it. I like challenges.
So, post-accident, I made myself a goal. My goal was to go back to work five months after the accident. I missed work, I missed using my brain, I missed seeing my work family every day, and I was finding myself getting bored at home.
While most people thought this goal was too lofty, the doctors couldn't argue with the remarkable progress I had made, and so they didn't try to dissuade me (too much). I'm guessing they realized that I would have to figure out for myself that it was too soon.
And so, I went back to work, on March 10th and by March 31st, I realized it was too soon. The first week I thought I just need to get used to it again. The second week I thought that maybe it was too soon, but perhaps I could just push through. And by the third week, I admitted to myself that it was too soon.
As you can imagine, it was hard for me to realize it was too soon and for me to say that I need to step back. My children were the biggest reason for this - I didn't want to end up going backward in my recovery out of stubbornness and risk my ability to take care of them.
So, I went back to the Shock Trauma Neuro Team and they referred me to Dr. Kortte at Hopkins. I've seen her twice now so far. First an intake and then a follow-up to discuss strategies.
I had no idea what going to a neuropsychologist would be like, but I have found that I like Dr. Kortte very much. She is clearly smart, and is also very warm, humorous, and genuine. She explained that had I been her patient, she would have tried very hard to dissuade me from going back to work so soon. I laughed and said I wouldn't have listened.
Here's what I've learned: skin heals in days to a week, bones heal in weeks to months, and the brain takes months to years to heal. And even though I've made such remarkable progress, there is still progress to be made. And unlike the body, pushing the brain too much doesn't build muscle, it actually causes the brain to get over-stimulated and to sort of shut down.
So now, my new challenge is to look past my natural inclination to push myself. I have to look for symptoms of over-stimulation (headache, cloudy thinking, and fatigue), and when I notice them, I have to stop what I'm doing and rest, reducing stimulation as much as possible.
It is going to take everything I've got not to push myself too much, not to feel like I'm being lazy, and not to try to make the healing process take less time than it should. This may be my biggest challenge yet. I'm up for it. I like challenges.
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