On...

Just recently, a friend of mine told me that he thought I was the least complaining person he knew. He has been working on being mindful of negativity and complaining, particularly when those complaints are about things of no real consequence to daily existence, and the result of the complaints just incur unhappiness or a focus on negativity. Anyway, his comment made me think. And, in some ways he's right - I don't complain about the hard things that I've gone through. I make a conscious effort to focus on what went right, instead of what went wrong. Interestingly though, I used to complain... All the time - about the little stuff. In fact, I think I became more mindful of my complaining when I was called out on it in my undergrad program in Clinical Psychology. A little backstory: I remember this guy Nat. He described me one day, in the midst of our group therapy class, and his description was "the most cheerful complainer I've ever met." I was compl

A friend of Alli's was over for a playdate this past weekend. He is a darling boy with whom I'm glad she is friends. Although... I'm afraid he might have a bit to learn, especially if Alli's prediction on their future nuptials comes true. At one point, they were doing something that evidently needed some muscles - perhaps opening something or lifting a heavy object. He says "Alli, boys are stronger than girls. I should do that." Both Alli and I disagreed, immediately and outloud. Alli said "uh... no... I'm just as strong as you." And I said "whether you're a boy or a girl has nothing to do with how strong you are." Perhaps we were a little abrupt for the boy who didn't mean any harm, but still... I am glad my daughter stood up for herself and her gender. In any case, this exchange got me thinking about the strongest people I know. And, well, it is not that I don't know some strong men, but the majority of the people

I do not like to rest. If I am "resting," I might as well be sleeping. Sleeping is a worthwhile activity that helps my body and my brain become stronger. Resting is just... silliness. It is more painful for me to sit still and rest than the pain from my surgery. I know people who like resting, people who know that a little rest now means they can do more later. But resting, to me, feels like failure. Achieving means I'm finding a way to do what needs to be done. Letting the day pass me by... totally failure. This past Thursday, after my surgery, I was pretty sore. My kids were at school. My parents went home. All I had to do all day was rest. About 10 minutes into it (maybe 20), I'd had enough resting. I was fidgety and anxious to get moving. But, I couldn't. Nothing about resting is relaxing for me. I am relaxed when I can get things done. I am relaxed when I check things off my list. I am NOT RELAXED when I am sitting on the couch watching TV. I don'