On...

I feel as though I should apologize for my grief. Grief almost seems too extreme a word because I am not talking about the loss of another human being or even an animal. I am, for the most part, a very positive person. And yet, grief is still the best description for the feelings that I sometimes feel. I have trouble reconciling my profound feelings of grief with the fact that I am a very lucky individual. I am someone who is lucky to be alive. I am lucky to be a functioning part of society. I am lucky to get to see my children grow up. I have a really amazing, fantastic life, one that I came so close to losing and therefore do not take for granted. For all of these things, I am incredibly grateful. And so, I feel somewhat guilty for grieving my losses, on any level. And yet, I still feel it. Perhaps my losses are not so great, at least not in comparison to what they could have been or to others' losses. But, there are times when a deep sense of grief overwhelms me. Something

I have this framed quote in my room: Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away . I remember when I moved into my condo almost three years ago, how drawn I was to that quote. It felt so... Hopeful... Almost magical. That belief that there were moments that could take your breath away was what I needed at the time. I needed to believe in that kind of magic. And now, I think I've changed my mind. Don't get me wrong, I do believe that life has moments that can take your breath away... The birth of both of my children certainly count as those kind of moments. And more recently, my trip to Ireland was filled with breath-taking moments. Those kinds of moments are important... And magical. I no longer believe (or want to believe), however, that those moments are what defines life. It is a lovely, magical, hopeful sentiment. But what defines life - or a life well lived - is more often the ordinary moments. The moments that reall