On...

My mom and I just went to see the national tour of The Wizard of Oz at the Lyric .  It was wonderful. And, it made me start thinking about each of the characters again and what we could learn from them. The Scarecrow Oh, how I love the Scarecrow and his wish for a brain.  Of course, he is one of the more intelligent characters, but doesn't realize it.  At one point the Wizard says to him, "if you know enough to ask for a brain, then you already have one." And don't we all do this sometimes?  I know I have.  I've felt insecure when I've done something dumb (and I do that a lot) and wished "if I only had a brain."  Perhaps I am more sensitive to this post traumatic brain injury... But, we all do dumb stuff every once in a while and it doesn't mean that we aren't intelligent, thoughtful, people.  We are.  Sometimes we just don't remember. Maybe the lesson we learn from the Scarecrow is to trust in our own abilities and believe in ourselve

As you probably have guessed, I'm not one to shirk challenges.  I like challenges.  I go at them with full-force and if I have a goal, I will be sure to achieve it.  My drive is a trait that has served me well throughout my life, and I'm really glad I have it. So, post-accident, I made myself a goal.  My goal was to go back to work five months after the accident.  I missed work, I missed using my brain, I missed seeing my work family every day, and I was finding myself getting bored at home. While most people thought this goal was too lofty, the doctors couldn't argue with the remarkable progress I had made, and so they didn't try to dissuade me (too much).  I'm guessing they realized that I would have to figure out for myself that it was too soon. And so, I went back to work, on March 10th and by March 31st, I realized it was too soon. The first week I thought I just need to get used to it again. The second week I thought that maybe it was too soon, but perha

Just this past weekend, I watched a really awesome Ted Talk from Jane McGonigal .  She, like me, had a traumatic brain injury.  What she did to help herself is quite fascinating. Without giving too much away (because really, you should watch it), I'll say that her explanations of post-traumatic growth, building resilience, and ways to achieve it made me think of the ways I've helped myself since the accident: 1.  Physical Resilience:  For me, this is going to the gym.  I went to the gym prior to the accident.  In fact, it is one of the things that my doctors believed allowed my body to heal so quickly from such traumatic injury. And now, it helps my body and my brain continue to heal.  Other benefits include being able to handle stress more easily, greater stamina throughout the day, and of course, looking better in a bikini (can't not include that).  As with everything, I work hard for a reason.  All of these benefits are my reasons. 2.  Emotional Resilience:  I unde

As my son has completed his First Communion this past week, it occurs to me that perhaps religion is a topic I should discuss. Now, I am sure I run the risk of offending someone.  I'll either offend my religious friends for not being religious enough or I'll offend my non-religious friends for being too pro-God. Either way, my intention is not to offend, but rather to explore my thoughts on the subject. I'll start by saying that I believe in God.  And, I have experienced a few miracles of my own that make me believe that there is something bigger than us all.  However, I also believe that God allows us to create our own miracles.  If He did not, we would not have such amazing doctors, nurses, and caregivers in the world. And although I believe in God, I cannot say that I am a very good church-goer.  I go sometimes.  I feel as though I should go more often than I do.  I take Summers off.  And during this time of First Communion prep, I felt as though I needed some time o

I feel as though I've done a pretty good job of being grateful... Of recognizing what I still have and of how lucky I am to be as okay as I am.  But still, sometimes I lament my former self. I miss how my body used to work. I miss being able to make a fist with my left hand.  I miss being able to hold more than 17.5 pounds of weight in my left hand without fear of dropping it.  I miss not being covered in hideous bruises. I miss being able to pay attention for more than 15 minutes at a time.  I miss hearing in both ears.  I miss the lack of daily frustrations I now feel.  I miss the old me. Don’t worry, I have not taken a serious turn for the worse.  I’m still grateful for where I am today and I am still committed to getting better and better everyday, but I won’t lie to you - this is a struggle, one that I face everyday. Recently, a friend of mine helped put everything in perspective.  She reminded me that the "old me" is a myth, as is the "new me."

So, it turns out that changing 40 some pairs tights, dance shoes, and costumes is really good hand therapy. Who would've guessed that I would find myself working my hand while trying desperately to quick-change dance recital girls in order to get them to the stage for their next dance.  But, that's exactly what I did this past Saturday. My daughter's very first dance Showcase was this weekend, and on Saturday I volunteered to be a backstage mom and help in the dressing room.  I had no idea what this entailed. I knew what the duties were, but what was really required - that was another thing altogether.  Herding cats, at times, would have been easier. But, even though it was hard work, and I didn't get to sit quietly in the audience to watch the performance, I am so grateful that I was able to do it.  I kept thinking to myself as I buckled yet another tap shoe, "wow, if this Showcase had been in the Fall, I would have missed it!"  Or worse, "if I hadn&

There are a few lessons that I've learned both in living my life and as a result of my accident.  If I succeed in teaching my children these lessons, I will view my parenting venture as a success: 1.  Even when you are afraid of doing something, if it is something that you really want to do or need to do, do it anyway - that is the definition of courage. Whether this be standing on stage and performing in a ballet recital (Alli), or performing a guitar solo in front of music class (Simon), or writing and sharing everything that has happened (me). All of it can be and will be fear inducing.  That's okay.  A little fear can go a long way in teaching you what's important - especially when you face it head on. 2. There will always be someone in this world who has more than you (more stuff, more money, more happiness, more suffering, more loss) and there will always be someone in this world that has less.  It doesn't matter. What matters is what you do with what