Posts

Showing posts from August, 2015

On What I Learned from High School Field Hockey

Image
Alli decided not to return to dance this year. Although it makes me sad that she won't continue to be a part of such a wonderful dance studio, she wanted to explore other options. So, she is taking an art class - which if you know Alli, you know that this is her true passion. Still, I feel like she should do something physical - happily she chose to try the sport I played in high school - field hockey. Me, my junior year of high school and Alli at her first practice                                                              I was not a good field hockey player - I can perhaps claim being mostly competent. I didn't score for the other team or anything, but I also didn't score for my own (and I played wing position on the forward line, so it was kind of expected that I would). I did, however, learn a tremendous amount from my time on the field hockey team. There are plenty of people who are going to be better than me at things: And, this is okay. Ther

On the Societal Expectations of Brave

If I were to name one trait that I hope my daughter has, it would be bravery. I hope my son has it as well, but I think it is sort-of socially expected that boys will be brave, and it is more socially important that girls are. Would I describe myself as brave? Perhaps... sometimes. I have friends that would say I'm brave because I defied death. I don't actually believe that makes me brave at all. I think that makes me... hopeful... and lucky. It isn't some fear I faced. Instead, it was just the belief that I wasn't going to die. There's a difference. To me, bravery is facing a fear... being afraid... and doing it anyway. My surviving my accident wasn't brave - I didn't face any fears. I'm not afraid of death. All I did was believe that I would be fine. I will believe I am (and was) strong... in body and in mind... but brave... not in this instance. I have been brave, on more than one occasion. And yet, I'm not sure it is an adjective I'd us

On Lessons For and From My Children

Children can be cruel. I understand that this is, unfortunately, a part of life. I was taught that being intentionally unkind to another person is not acceptable behavior. I was taught that if someone speaks to you, you should be respectful and respond. I was also taught that if I was unkind, whether intentionally or unintentionally, the person I was unkind to was owed an apology. For the most part, I have upheld this behavioral standard (my brother might argue, at least where he was concerned) set by my parents. While I am working hard to share these lessons with my own children, it always astounds me that other children are not brought up this way. Alli is very shy and she does not readily ask someone to play with her, even when she really wants to play. She'll often ask me to intervene for her, and I tell her that I will come with her, but that she has to ask herself. She is the one who wants to play, so she needs to do the asking. Simon is not shy at all. Simon craves c