On...

Today is my birthday.  I love birthdays. I love other people's birthdays more than my own. I enjoy celebrating other people on their special day. I always have. I make a big deal about other people's birthdays, even when they might wish I wouldn't. I haven't minded this process of getting older so much. While there are certainly things that I wish didn't happen with age that do, generally speaking, I'm OK with it. I take care of myself and I find the humor in what I can't change. And laughter keeps you young at heart, right? I do remember being a kid and thinking how very old 38 seemed. 38 doesn't seem so old anymore. Funny how that perception changes. This year, as I celebrate the day of my birth, I am reminded of how easily I could have never celebrated this day again (or any day) and I think of my parents, my children, my friends and family, and I am so grateful to be celebrating this year. I am so thankful to have another year to celebrate. I...

As most of us who peruse the internet or watch TV or read magazines know, Dove has a long-running campaign on redefining beauty.  Here's link to one of my favorite ads and with it a blog (by another writer) about how Dove has missed the mark. I certainly understand both points of view and I believe Dove's intentions are two-fold: one, to actually redefine beauty and two, to make money. We can't pretend that Dove doesn't want to sell product - they do, but they can also help our culture in the process. Additionally, I was listening to a book at the gym and heard something that stuck with me.  "We should not think of scars as being ugly. Scars mean we survived." Combined, these two things have been bouncing around in my head and made me think about accident survivors, cancer survivors, etc. and how we see ourselves. While I cannot pretend to understand what other's have gone through, I know what I've gone through, and I can speak for myself. ...

My children each have a very important last day this week. Simon has his last day of 2nd grade and Alli has her last day with Ms. Sherri (her daycare provider for life). First days tend to give me anxiety. It doesn't matter how excited I am for the event, it always makes me feel a bit like wandering around school hallways without any clue as to where to go. I can't sleep for days prior to the first day of anything, even when I know exactly what to expect. But last days, make me sad. Simon's last day is a last day in this particular school with a wonderful and caring staff. It's his last day with the wonderful teacher who has been his teacher for the last two years.  And although Simon is thrilled that summer is here at last, I am sad. It'll never be the same as it is right now. Alli's last day is harder on me. Ms. Sherri has been a part of our lives for more than five years. She watched Simon part-time until he went to preschool and she has watched Alli ...

One of the first memories I have from the hospital is my friend, Jeremy, visiting.  This wasn't the first time Jeremy visited, but it was the first time I remembered.  What I remember is Jeremy making fun of my hair. (It was half-shaved/half-not because of the emergency need to get a drain in and reduce the swelling in my head).  My hair did not look good. I knew this. No one else even acknowledged it.  Jeremy, however, made fun of it.  And, I remember feeling so grateful because he treated me like me, not like some fragile, sad, accident victim.  That was refreshing, especially considering the circumstances. Sporting the half-shaved/half-long look, not to mention the awesome collar and arm splint Part of the reason Jeremy and I get along so well is that we both tend to crack jokes when we feel uncomfortable.  We try to lighten the mood of the situation. Sometimes that works, and sometimes it makes people even more uncomfortable. I make jokes...

My mom and I just went to see the national tour of The Wizard of Oz at the Lyric .  It was wonderful. And, it made me start thinking about each of the characters again and what we could learn from them. The Scarecrow Oh, how I love the Scarecrow and his wish for a brain.  Of course, he is one of the more intelligent characters, but doesn't realize it.  At one point the Wizard says to him, "if you know enough to ask for a brain, then you already have one." And don't we all do this sometimes?  I know I have.  I've felt insecure when I've done something dumb (and I do that a lot) and wished "if I only had a brain."  Perhaps I am more sensitive to this post traumatic brain injury... But, we all do dumb stuff every once in a while and it doesn't mean that we aren't intelligent, thoughtful, people.  We are.  Sometimes we just don't remember. Maybe the lesson we learn from the Scarecrow is to trust in our own abilities and believe in ourselve...

As you probably have guessed, I'm not one to shirk challenges.  I like challenges.  I go at them with full-force and if I have a goal, I will be sure to achieve it.  My drive is a trait that has served me well throughout my life, and I'm really glad I have it. So, post-accident, I made myself a goal.  My goal was to go back to work five months after the accident.  I missed work, I missed using my brain, I missed seeing my work family every day, and I was finding myself getting bored at home. While most people thought this goal was too lofty, the doctors couldn't argue with the remarkable progress I had made, and so they didn't try to dissuade me (too much).  I'm guessing they realized that I would have to figure out for myself that it was too soon. And so, I went back to work, on March 10th and by March 31st, I realized it was too soon. The first week I thought I just need to get used to it again. The second week I thought that maybe it was too soon, ...

Just this past weekend, I watched a really awesome Ted Talk from Jane McGonigal .  She, like me, had a traumatic brain injury.  What she did to help herself is quite fascinating. Without giving too much away (because really, you should watch it), I'll say that her explanations of post-traumatic growth, building resilience, and ways to achieve it made me think of the ways I've helped myself since the accident: 1.  Physical Resilience:  For me, this is going to the gym.  I went to the gym prior to the accident.  In fact, it is one of the things that my doctors believed allowed my body to heal so quickly from such traumatic injury. And now, it helps my body and my brain continue to heal.  Other benefits include being able to handle stress more easily, greater stamina throughout the day, and of course, looking better in a bikini (can't not include that).  As with everything, I work hard for a reason.  All of these benefits are my reasons. 2...