On...

Here we find ourselves amidst the holiday chaos once again. Although a joyous time, it is also a time that brings to mind memories of holidays past and of the people who have passed. I have been thinking a great deal about my Grammy recently. I could linger on the sadness I feel that she is no longer with me, and sometimes I do. Or, I could focus on the lessons she taught me in my time with her and on my gratitude in receiving them. Today I will do that. Grammy was not the sort of lovey-dovey dote all over her grandchildren kind of grandmother. She was too practical for that. And so, she did things with us: from crafts, to cooking, to trips to the zoo, and more. We were constantly learning and doing. She was moving fast and our job was to keep up... and, to have fun along the way. So, this brings me to some of the key things I learned from Grammy. If you haven't had a Grammy to learn these things from, I'll gladly pass on her wisdom so you can learn from mine. Take Care...

A friend of mine was giving a talk on gratitude. He asked if I would participate - sharing my story and reading from my blog. This gave me pause to think about why I might or might not accept such a request. Those of you who know me well,  know that I am an extrovert. I love people. I love to talk to people, listen to people, and make people laugh. I am at my happiest and most full of energy when I am around others. That being true, I am not an attention-seeker. In fact, the amount of attention I've received because of my accident and recovery generally makes me uncomfortable. Yet, I write a blog that often talks about my accident and the aftermath.  So why write a blog if I am uncomfortable being the center of attention? Why even talk about my accident at all? Certainly, in part, I write to help myself, to work through some of the confusion, to answer the questions, and to express the feelings I have related to the accident. And, there are other reasons as well - rea...

Just recently, a friend of mine told me that he thought I was the least complaining person he knew. He has been working on being mindful of negativity and complaining, particularly when those complaints are about things of no real consequence to daily existence, and the result of the complaints just incur unhappiness or a focus on negativity. Anyway, his comment made me think. And, in some ways he's right - I don't complain about the hard things that I've gone through. I make a conscious effort to focus on what went right, instead of what went wrong. Interestingly though, I used to complain... All the time - about the little stuff. In fact, I think I became more mindful of my complaining when I was called out on it in my undergrad program in Clinical Psychology. A little backstory: I remember this guy Nat. He described me one day, in the midst of our group therapy class, and his description was "the most cheerful complainer I've ever met." I was compl...

A friend of Alli's was over for a playdate this past weekend. He is a darling boy with whom I'm glad she is friends. Although... I'm afraid he might have a bit to learn, especially if Alli's prediction on their future nuptials comes true. At one point, they were doing something that evidently needed some muscles - perhaps opening something or lifting a heavy object. He says "Alli, boys are stronger than girls. I should do that." Both Alli and I disagreed, immediately and outloud. Alli said "uh... no... I'm just as strong as you." And I said "whether you're a boy or a girl has nothing to do with how strong you are." Perhaps we were a little abrupt for the boy who didn't mean any harm, but still... I am glad my daughter stood up for herself and her gender. In any case, this exchange got me thinking about the strongest people I know. And, well, it is not that I don't know some strong men, but the majority of the people ...

I do not like to rest. If I am "resting," I might as well be sleeping. Sleeping is a worthwhile activity that helps my body and my brain become stronger. Resting is just... silliness. It is more painful for me to sit still and rest than the pain from my surgery. I know people who like resting, people who know that a little rest now means they can do more later. But resting, to me, feels like failure. Achieving means I'm finding a way to do what needs to be done. Letting the day pass me by... totally failure. This past Thursday, after my surgery, I was pretty sore. My kids were at school. My parents went home. All I had to do all day was rest. About 10 minutes into it (maybe 20), I'd had enough resting. I was fidgety and anxious to get moving. But, I couldn't. Nothing about resting is relaxing for me. I am relaxed when I can get things done. I am relaxed when I check things off my list. I am NOT RELAXED when I am sitting on the couch watching TV. I don'...

I recently got the craziest news. I'm still not entirely sure what to make of it, but here's the back story: When I was first admitted to Shock Trauma, my mom approved allowing me to be a part of a double blind study. The medication in the study had shown some initial promising results in quickly reducing brain swelling, and therefore reducing a lot of the complications that can go with it. So, I was a part of this study. Until very recently, I did not know if I had received the medication or the placebo. The woman conducting the study (Charlene), as well as my parents, myself, and anyone who knew I was a part of this study assumed that I had most likely gotten the medication. The swiftness of reduction in my brain swelling post-trauma was remarkable. So, of course, I got the medication, right? BUT I DIDN'T! As it turns out, I was in the placebo group. WHAT?! Part of me is disappointed. I really enjoyed getting to know Charlene and wanted to be helpful to her study, f...

So, here it is the second anniversary of Emily and me surviving our accident. In many ways it feels like it was just yesterday. Yet, so many things have changed since then that I cannot imagine how I have fit it all in. It is true that many parts of this experience completely and totally sucked: that Em and I were in a life-changing accident; having a long and arduous recovery; knowing that my friend was hurt when I was driving; understanding the fear that our family and friends felt day in and day out. All of it was pretty horrible. Here's what's also true: I wouldn't change any of it. I am grateful for the doctors, nurses, family and friends that made my survival possible. It is both overwhelming and fulfilling to know that people are working and praying hard for you. I am grateful for the connections and re-connections I have made because of the accident. Meeting new people and reconnecting with old friends is a wonderful thing, something I appreciate tremend...