On Significance and Success

A friend of mine was giving a talk on gratitude. He asked if I would participate - sharing my story and reading from my blog. This gave me pause to think about why I might or might not accept such a request.

Those of you who know me well,  know that I am an extrovert. I love people. I love to talk to people, listen to people, and make people laugh. I am at my happiest and most full of energy when I am around others. That being true, I am not an attention-seeker. In fact, the amount of attention I've received because of my accident and recovery generally makes me uncomfortable.

Yet, I write a blog that often talks about my accident and the aftermath.  So why write a blog if I am uncomfortable being the center of attention? Why even talk about my accident at all? Certainly, in part, I write to help myself, to work through some of the confusion, to answer the questions, and to express the feelings I have related to the accident. And, there are other reasons as well - reasons that are outside of myself and my own journey.

In examining my reasons for participating in my friend's talk and for writing my blog, this is what keeps coming back to me: can my story help someone else?  Can it speak to someone in a way that tells them they are not alone?  Can it help others understand what their loved ones are feeling?

This is integral to my personal definition of significance and success. I define my significance, and therefore my success, by how well I help others succeed. It is not as unselfish as it sounds. Trust me, my feelings of worth capitalize on your success and my impact on it.

This is how I approach every facet of my life: parenting, work, friends and family. I work to give the people I interact with the tools and resources they need to be successful. And then, if they need it, I teach them how to use those tools and resources. I try to connect people - to match individuals that could benefit one another in their own journeys. And finally (and this is the hardest part), I try to step back and allow them to reach their own success.

If I accomplish these things, then I am significant and I am successful. If you win, I win! How cool is that?!

Which brings me to my friend's talk on gratitude and my participation in that talk. I wasn't sure how talking about what I've gone through would do anything other than cause others to pity me. Being in front of a crowd is far different than writing a blog. In the blog, I do not have a captive audience. I do not know, unless you make comments, that you've even read it. But with the talk, I had an audience that couldn’t really leave. They were watching me and listening to my words.

I viewed telling my story through the same lens that I view success and significance. Am I giving a different perspective, a different way of thinking, feeling or acting, relative to one’s own situation? Am I connecting with others on a common thread? Can I connect people to others I've encountered in my journey to help them on their respective journeys? If the answer to those questions are yes, then I feel like I have succeeded.  

If the feedback I received following my participation is genuine (and I believe it is), then I should be telling my story. There are people out there who could benefit from hearing it.

I hope the same is true for my blog. Please share your comments. I love to hear your stories: the similarities and differences to my own, and how what I've written has impacted you, perhaps causing you to think, feel or act differently. If I know your story, then I can invest in your success. And then, we can succeed together.