On Looking Back

This past weekend, I did something: I read, from beginning to end, all of the Caring Bridge Posts (days, weeks, months, post-accident) from my mom and all of the comments and well-wishes from so many of you.

I read these once before, but I was still early in my recovery, so I'm not sure it totally sank in.

This time was different. This time, I felt as if I was with all of you awaiting my mom's next post. It felt less like this was something that I had actually lived through and experienced myself. Instead, this time, I lived through it from your perspective. I'll admit, it was a little surreal. That was some pretty heavy stuff. Whew!

Here is what struck me most prominently when reading these posts and comments:
  • My mom is absolutely amazing. If you ever question where I get my strength, determination, and ability to love, look no further than my mom. 
  • The rest of my family is pretty darn amazing too. They never faltered in their love and support. They stayed by my side. They helped me so that I could help myself. 
  • So many people, from so many different facets of my life (from childhood to adulthood, and everywhere in between) showed me such caring and compassion. Each, genuinely wanted me to get better and cheered with my family as I did. I am astounded and I am incredibly humbled by it.  
  • I've been through a lot of stuff. And, now, looking back, I can truly comprehend all that I was going through. It is overwhelming to re-experience it. And yet, I am glad I have both experienced it and re-experienced it. Sure, it totally sucks that it had to happen, but how empowering to truly understand what I am capable of. This is a lesson that will carry me throughout the rest of my days. This is a lesson that I hope my children will understand and embrace as they face their own challenges. And, this is a lesson that I hope each person who cared for me and about me on this journey will also embrace through their own difficult moments.
  • Somewhere inside of me, I always knew that I would be okay. 

And now, I'm so much more than okay. I have an absolutely fantastic life filled with opportunities, joy, and love. I am so grateful that I've been given this opportunity to live, to fight for life alongside dedicated and determined medical staff, as well as dedicated and determined friends and family. I am grateful for each and every person who cared for me and cared about me. I am grateful for each person in my life. I hope you know that. Without your support, the fight would have been so much harder. Thank you.

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