On Disabilty

Technically, legally and by standard definition, I have disabilities.  Wow, that's hard for me to come to terms with.  I don't feel “disabled.”  I have some challenges and stuff to deal with, but am I “disabled?” I don’t believe that I am.   The term "disabled" often has a negative connotation - for those with disabilities and those without.  I would bet that a lot of people with differing disabilities do not feel “disabled.”

What I've come to realize is that I have to redefine my understanding of what a disability is.  The term is often used in a blanket fashion to describe any number of diverse individuals with differing abilities and challenges Some disabilities are not readily recognized and fewer are understood by others that don't experience the same challenges.  

For me, I am hearing disabled and my hand doesn't work like it should.  The hearing will never get better, but the hand might.  What I've learned is that having a hearing problem is a difficult disability for those that do not have a hearing problem to understand.  People think I am being rude when I don't hear them.  Until recently, when I got my hearing aides, if you stood on my left side and spoke, I wasn't going to hear you. I'm not ignoring you, I'm just profoundly deaf in one ear. I am sure that I have thought people were being rude to me when in reality they just didn't hear me.

As for my hand, it looks almost normal.  So, people don't understand that it doesn't work like it should. Once I explain, people get it and we move on.

However, it is exhausting to constantly have to explain my disabilities. I just want to go through life without thinking about them that much.  I'll make my own accommodations, but I don't want to go into the ins and outs of what doesn't work.  I am sure I'm not the only person to feel this way.  

This is where I can be more understanding.  Most people, when they have the chance to understand, are kind and considerate.  It is my own annoyance at my disabilities that makes me not want to constantly share that I have them.  I don't want to feel sorry for myself.  I'm guessing that many other people with disabilities, no matter what kind, feel exactly the same.

So, I guess the lesson here is this:  If you have a disability, be okay with talking about it - you might just find another person who has similar challenges or help someone else to be okay talking about their disabilities. And if you don't have a disability, understand that there are people in this world that do, and most of them aren't obvious - be patient, kind, and considerate.  And while there will always be people in this world that want to feel sorry for themselves, most people don't.  The old adage comes into play here:  Treat others as you would like to be treated.