On Believing We Can
As I have listened to others' stories, I have heard people say they have been told all their lives that they couldn't do something. Their dreams and personal goals have been laughed at, made fun of, or otherwise just dismissed.
Why do we feel it necessary, as a culture, to dismiss what someone else wants to accomplish as silly or impossible? How does this make how we experience our own lives any better? I don't believe it does.
Hearing these stories makes me that much more grateful for my own upbringing. Sure, I had the occasional teacher or other influential adult tell me my dreams were silly or that the likelihood of my success at a particular goal was quite low. The adults that really counted, though: my parents, never told me such things.
My parents have been (and continue to be) supportive of anything I set my mind to do. Nothing that I ever brought up as an interest or a dream was dismissed. Not even when I all I wanted to be when I grew up was a server at Cantler's. Perhaps this wasn't the dream they had for me, but they never dismissed it as silly.
The message was always that I was going to have to work my ass off (my interpretation, not their words) in order to do accomplish my goals, but there was no doubt in their minds that if I wanted it, I could achieve it. My dreams and goals were always respected.
What an amazing message to receive on a daily basis! I wonder if my parents even realize how important this message was. I think mostly it was just what they believed - that supporting their child was of utmost importance, even when our ideas were not the same.
Let's go back to those other influential adults who told me I couldn't... Well, because the message from my parents (and others) was that I could, I took every opportunity to prove those other people wrong. I channeled their disbelief into making sure I accomplished whatever it was I wanted to do.
It is such a powerful belief - that you can do anything as long as you work hard for it and stay focused.
It is a belief I have carried with me on this life journey. This isn't enough though, for just me to benefit from this belief - I want to give it to others. I want my own children to believe they can accomplish their dreams.
I think the reason my parents continuous encouragement led me to believe that I can do anything I want to work hard for, is that it was actually a belief they had. It wasn't just lip service - it wasn't half-hearted support or encouragement. It was completely genuine. And what a difference that makes.
Alli wants to be an artist. I have told her that it is really hard work. And, I have supported her at every opportunity. I encourage her to work hard to make that dream a reality. I provide her the tools and resources she needs for her success. And if she changes her mind (which knowing Alli, is unlikely), I'll support her next goal. I actually believe she can do anything she sets her mind to, as long as she works hard and stays focused.
Simon doesn't have a clue what he wants to be when he grows up. That doesn't really matter though - the message I give him is the same. Whatever he wants to accomplish - he can do it. He just has to work hard. And, I will support and encourage him in whatever his goals are.
Why can't we all give this message to those we care about? How different would the world be if we all believed we could accomplish our goals through hard work, determination, and focus? What if we all had the support and encouragement we needed to achieve those goals? What if we all believed at our very core that we can?
We can positively impact one another. We can achieve our individual goals. We can work together to achieve common goals. We can... change the world.
So, let's do it.
Why do we feel it necessary, as a culture, to dismiss what someone else wants to accomplish as silly or impossible? How does this make how we experience our own lives any better? I don't believe it does.
Hearing these stories makes me that much more grateful for my own upbringing. Sure, I had the occasional teacher or other influential adult tell me my dreams were silly or that the likelihood of my success at a particular goal was quite low. The adults that really counted, though: my parents, never told me such things.
My parents have been (and continue to be) supportive of anything I set my mind to do. Nothing that I ever brought up as an interest or a dream was dismissed. Not even when I all I wanted to be when I grew up was a server at Cantler's. Perhaps this wasn't the dream they had for me, but they never dismissed it as silly.
The message was always that I was going to have to work my ass off (my interpretation, not their words) in order to do accomplish my goals, but there was no doubt in their minds that if I wanted it, I could achieve it. My dreams and goals were always respected.
What an amazing message to receive on a daily basis! I wonder if my parents even realize how important this message was. I think mostly it was just what they believed - that supporting their child was of utmost importance, even when our ideas were not the same.
Let's go back to those other influential adults who told me I couldn't... Well, because the message from my parents (and others) was that I could, I took every opportunity to prove those other people wrong. I channeled their disbelief into making sure I accomplished whatever it was I wanted to do.
It is a belief I have carried with me on this life journey. This isn't enough though, for just me to benefit from this belief - I want to give it to others. I want my own children to believe they can accomplish their dreams.
I think the reason my parents continuous encouragement led me to believe that I can do anything I want to work hard for, is that it was actually a belief they had. It wasn't just lip service - it wasn't half-hearted support or encouragement. It was completely genuine. And what a difference that makes.
Alli wants to be an artist. I have told her that it is really hard work. And, I have supported her at every opportunity. I encourage her to work hard to make that dream a reality. I provide her the tools and resources she needs for her success. And if she changes her mind (which knowing Alli, is unlikely), I'll support her next goal. I actually believe she can do anything she sets her mind to, as long as she works hard and stays focused.
Simon doesn't have a clue what he wants to be when he grows up. That doesn't really matter though - the message I give him is the same. Whatever he wants to accomplish - he can do it. He just has to work hard. And, I will support and encourage him in whatever his goals are.
Why can't we all give this message to those we care about? How different would the world be if we all believed we could accomplish our goals through hard work, determination, and focus? What if we all had the support and encouragement we needed to achieve those goals? What if we all believed at our very core that we can?
We can positively impact one another. We can achieve our individual goals. We can work together to achieve common goals. We can... change the world.
So, let's do it.
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