On Christmas Magic

I thrive on certainty. Or, to be more specific, I thrive on taking chaos and making it certain. I have no actual problem with chaos - as long as I can make it nice, neat, and organized. It happens to be what I'm good at.

That being said, what a better time for making chaos certain than the holidays.

I know that I did stuff for Christmas last year. I purchased gifts. I made my "famous" lasagna dinner for my family. I know that Santa came. I know the kids got gobs of presents. I know that I spent time with family and friends. But, I don't really remember it.

This time last year, I was not long out of the hospital. I think I still had a splint on my left hand and a plastic brace on my neck. And, I may have still been on quite a few pain meds. So, things are a bit...fuzzy. I have to rely on other people's memories of the holiday and not on my own.

This year is different. Things are great. I have plenty of time to focus on the holiday, on making it perfect for my kids. (In case you're wondering, certainty and perfection are often one and the same for me).

I started shopping before Thanksgiving. I made checklist after checklist of all the things I need to do in order to make this holiday one to remember. And, I've checked everything off those lists. I don't think I've gone overboard. I haven't done more decorations than usual. I haven't purchased more gifts than usual. I am not planning any crazy, super-hard dinner - I'm making lasagna for Christmas Eve.

Instead, what I'm focusing on is getting all the chaos out of the way so that I can actually concentrate on the days leading up to the holiday, and then on the actual holiday. I want to finish the "stuff" so that the magic can happen.

And it has. Alli declared the day we decorated as "the best day ever." She is at the perfect age for a magical Christmas. Every detail is exciting to her, and getting to enjoy it through her eyes makes it all the more magical for me.

Although I am not particularly fond of our elf, I am fond of how excited the kids get each morning when they search for her. I enjoy listening to the conversations that Alli has with the elf about how she really should be on the "nice list."

I love watching Simon really understand what giving is about. He is so excited to get Alli a present this year, and wants to make sure that it is something that will make her happy.

And, I especially love that this year my kids understand what it means to help others. They have wanted to be a part of giving presents to children in need, and that makes me happy - like maybe I'm doing an okay job at this parenting thing, and I'm actually teaching my children the lessons I feel are important to learn.

So, I'm done with the chaos for this year. Now, I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the certainty of the magic and I'm going to love every minute of it.

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