On Memories vs. Things

My kids have a lot of stuff. I'm not going to pretend they don't. They have more than the average child, and for that matter, I have more than the average person too. We are fortunate. I understand that.

Even though I have tried to consciously practice creating memories for my children over purchasing more things, it has become more important in my mind since the accident. Perhaps that is because I truly understand how valuable life is now - in a way that I couldn't have possibly understood before. I want my children to understand that accumulating items doesn't create a good life - doing interesting things and spending time with interesting and loving people does.

Does that mean that I won't occasionally give in to the "I wants?" No, I am sure that I will. To be honest, sometimes it's just easier than always trying to make a case for why things aren't that important. And, to be honest again, sometimes I want things too - and sometimes, I get them.

But, what it does mean, is that over this summer that I have had the great fortune of being able to spend more time with my kids than I would have had I not been continuing my recovery, I can create memories with them.

We went to Great Wolf Lodge. We had a blast with friends playing in the indoor water park. Yes, Great Wolf Lodge can be expensive, but I would rather spend my money on doing something they will remember, than spending money on yet another video game or stuffed animal.

We went to Deep Creek Lake. They swam in the lake, they hiked Swallow Falls, they took a boat ride around the lake, they spent time exploring, and they spent time with family and friends. They created their own memories of a place that I spent time in my childhood.

They went to camp. They each spent 2 weeks in the county camp program. They

were surrounded with new friends, activities, outdoor fun, indoor fun, and field trips. They started a long string of memories that camp fun will create in their minds for years to come.

We went to the pool. We invited friends to join us. We invited my brother and his family to join us. We went by ourselves. Alli learned how to swim. Simon became a better swimmer. They had fun doing the simple things in summer that I know will live with them forever.


And this week, we went to the Science Center. We walked up to the top of Federal Hill, looked at the view, and then played in the playground. Tomorrow, we will go to DC, go up the Washington Monument and explore the Air and Space Museum. Creating still more memories of time together, doing interesting and fun things.

So did we do anything extravagant this summer? Nope. Would I if I had the opportunity? Sure. There are all types of memories to create - I would love one day to take them to London, to the Outer Banks, NC, to NYC, to Nashville, to Disney World, to all of my favorite places that bring to mind such wonderful memories that I have personally created with family and friends. I want them to experience all the things that I have experienced.

But, here's the funny thing about memories - they are personal. You may create memories with other people, but your memory of the experience will no doubt be different than the person or people you were with. That's because the part that sticks in your mind, or the part that is particularly significant to you, may not be the part that is significant to someone else.

So, despite that I want my children to experience all the wonderful things that I have fond memories of, I know that they will experience them in a new way. They will have different memories than I - even from the same event. And that's OK. I just want them to have a chance to create memories that mean something.