On Milestone Anniversaries

It's been five years. FIVE YEARS! Like with most anniversaries or birthdays, it feels both a lifetime ago and just yesterday.

I was struggling a bit before I had my accident. My struggling was more emotional than physical during that time. I was navigating a separation and subsequent divorce, my kids getting used to living in two homes, not to mention the regular daily challenges of parenting and working full-time.

Certainly, immediately after the accident and for quite a long time thereafter, I struggled. This time the struggle was physical and emotional. I still had all those other things on my plate, and I also had to fight for my life. And then, I had to recover from that fight. I had to learn how to navigate the new normal. Happily, normal is always changing, and for the most part, getting better.

Here's what I've learned in the past five years that I think will help me continue to maneuver this bumpy road of life:

• To be grateful - For the big and small things, and that I've been able to handle what's been thrown my way. It gives me hope for future challenges.
• Asking for help isn't a crime - Sometimes the challenge is too great to handle by oneself. I'm learning that I can ask for help and it doesn't mean I'm weak - it means that I have a greater understanding of my immediate capabilities.
• Neither is being independent - I can and will do things by and for myself. I am not going to apologize for not needing help.
• I'm stronger than I knew I was - I've always known I have strength in me, but there is something eye-opening about looking back over the last five years and seeing what I've accomplished, and just how strong I've had to be.
• To fill my life with the right people - Now, I actively seek out friends who are kind, considerate, and compassionate. I look for the people I want to help and who I want to help me. I look for the people who care about my children and seek to help them when they need it. I look not for friends, but for people to add to that ever growing category of "family I picked."
• To roll with it - I love making things certain, but I also value change and a quick pace. I have learned over the last five years to let go (mostly) of the things that don't really matter and focus on the things that do. Stuff changes, in dramatic large ways and teeny-tiny ways. Rolling with it has served me well.
• Quality time matters - Quantity is nice. Loads and loads of time to do what needs to be done or to spend with the people that matter is great. It is also unrealistic. I try, instead, to focus on the quality of what I'm doing when I'm doing it, whether that's with my kids, my friends or family, working with clients, or working out. I may not be able to do something 24/7, but I can do a really good job in the hour I have.
• Enjoy something about every day - This isn't always easy. We all have bad days. We all argue iwth our kids, or have a project that doesn't go quite as planned. Still, there's always something enjoyable that you can find. I love the end of the day - when the arguing stops and the kids and I read books together and snuggle before bed. There's always a good part of the day - sometimes you just have to look for it.

As I am sure you're all a little curious about how Emily and I are doing since that day five years ago when we survived our accident:

I have an upcoming CAT Scan and follow-up appoingment with Dr. Jindal, my neurointerventional radiologist. That appointment is in November, but as I haven't experienced anything to be concerned about, I'm guessing all will be well. I continue to experience pain in my hand, but it isn't stopping me from doing anything I really want to do. It just makes zipping zippers and buttoning buttons a little tricky - not to mention helping Alli with her earrings. I have great clients that I'm enjoying working with. Simon is in a new school and program this year which is good, and also an adjustment. Alli is loving field hockey, school, and her friends. All-in-all, I have no complaints.

Emily is also doing well. She has . arelatively new job that brings with it some interesting travel and new people. Her kids are growing at an unbelievable pace and she, Ryan, and the kids moved into a new home this past year. Emily still has some challenges with zippers and buttons too, but like me, all-in-all, things are well.

We are celebrating this milestone anniversary tomorrow night! I'll be sure to update the blog with pictures.

Finally, I want to say thank you to everyone who supported me (and Emily) through the immediate aftermath of the accident and over the last five years. I think I can speak for both of us when I say that we wouldn't be here without you, and we are undeniably grateful for every kind throught, word, and deed.