On "The Worst Day Ever"
To say that my daughter is dramatic would be an understatement. She feels things in a big way, and expresses them that way too.
While I truly believe expressing one's feelings is important and I appreciate that she feels things significantly, these same traits can be challenging for her mother (me).
First of all, I feel things in a big way and I'm expressive with my feelings, also. This can mean a lot of drama in one house.
Second, Alli's drama tends to be gloom and doom. She frequently says "this is the worst day ever," no matter how small or insignificant the challenge actually is in the grand scheme of things. To her, in the moment, it is very significant
Perhaps I tended toward gloom and doom at her age. I don't really remember that I did, but maybe it's an age and experience thing.
When Alli says "this is the worst day ever," I respond by saying "I hope this is your worst day ever. If it is, you are a very lucky girl." She answers back with a 9-going-on-19 eye roll and a "you just don't understand me, Mom."
I know this isn't her worst day. This is a child who has lived through her parents' divorce, her mom's life threatening car accident, and a tornado hitting her house. She's only 9. She's had worse days, months, and even a year. And, I'm sure there will be other things that will qualify as worse.
I try to explain to both of my children that there is always someone in the world having a harder time than we are, and there's always someone in the world who is having an easier time. The only thing we can control is how we respond to our own situations and challenges. I try to move their perspective out of their own personal bubbles to the world around them. Not suprisingly, this is one of my bigger parenting challenges. Kids are egocentric. I know they have to grow into opening themselves up to others' experiences and perspectives.
It seems as though my children are listening to what I say less and less as the years progress. I know this is developmentally appropriate for their ages, and it is still frustrating and disappointing. I can only hope that I am modeling the lessons I think are important for them to learn.
I hope they learn, from my example, to take things as they come, and to do the best with what they have. My desire is that they will some day understand the value of working hard to make changes in themselves and in their situations. I want them to get the value of serving others. Finally, my intention is that they learn, through my actions, to be grateful for what they have, as well as to be grateful for the challenges they haven't had to experience. I believe that it is our gratitude that allows us to muscle through the "worst days" so that our experiences can lead us in a positive direction.
Think about today. What if this is your "worst day ever?" Doesn't that mean tomorrow will be pretty good? And, when you get through this worst day, won't you have proven to yourself that you are strong and can get through some pretty tough things? Isn't that worth having a "worst day"?
While I truly believe expressing one's feelings is important and I appreciate that she feels things significantly, these same traits can be challenging for her mother (me).
First of all, I feel things in a big way and I'm expressive with my feelings, also. This can mean a lot of drama in one house.
Second, Alli's drama tends to be gloom and doom. She frequently says "this is the worst day ever," no matter how small or insignificant the challenge actually is in the grand scheme of things. To her, in the moment, it is very significant
Perhaps I tended toward gloom and doom at her age. I don't really remember that I did, but maybe it's an age and experience thing.
When Alli says "this is the worst day ever," I respond by saying "I hope this is your worst day ever. If it is, you are a very lucky girl." She answers back with a 9-going-on-19 eye roll and a "you just don't understand me, Mom."
I know this isn't her worst day. This is a child who has lived through her parents' divorce, her mom's life threatening car accident, and a tornado hitting her house. She's only 9. She's had worse days, months, and even a year. And, I'm sure there will be other things that will qualify as worse.
I try to explain to both of my children that there is always someone in the world having a harder time than we are, and there's always someone in the world who is having an easier time. The only thing we can control is how we respond to our own situations and challenges. I try to move their perspective out of their own personal bubbles to the world around them. Not suprisingly, this is one of my bigger parenting challenges. Kids are egocentric. I know they have to grow into opening themselves up to others' experiences and perspectives.
It seems as though my children are listening to what I say less and less as the years progress. I know this is developmentally appropriate for their ages, and it is still frustrating and disappointing. I can only hope that I am modeling the lessons I think are important for them to learn.
I hope they learn, from my example, to take things as they come, and to do the best with what they have. My desire is that they will some day understand the value of working hard to make changes in themselves and in their situations. I want them to get the value of serving others. Finally, my intention is that they learn, through my actions, to be grateful for what they have, as well as to be grateful for the challenges they haven't had to experience. I believe that it is our gratitude that allows us to muscle through the "worst days" so that our experiences can lead us in a positive direction.
Think about today. What if this is your "worst day ever?" Doesn't that mean tomorrow will be pretty good? And, when you get through this worst day, won't you have proven to yourself that you are strong and can get through some pretty tough things? Isn't that worth having a "worst day"?
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