On the Unexpected Village

I truly believe the old saying "it takes a village to raise a child," and so, I've always made sure to surround myself with a village. I cannot raise two healthy, strong, intelligent children without some help. Family, friends (the family I picked), teachers, mentors, doctors, therapists - all of them are a part of our village. And, I am grateful for each person's contribution to the well-being of my children.

I did not, however, in the midst of our travels home from vacation, expect to add to the village - but I did.

Travel is difficult for many people, but imagine if you will having sensory processing challenges, and think about the size, number of people, and just sheer volume of noise in an airport. It gives me a headache, and I don't have those challenges.

Imagine hearing everything louder, seeing everything brighter, and not being able to tune out any of the fast-paced stimuli coming your way. Its exhausting to think about it. Does it make you want to run away and hide? Now add in security lines - really long security lines. And complete and total exhaustion from an action-packed vacation. How much would you be able to deal with?

The first addition to our village came in the security lines. As I was trying to get Simon to breathe and he was having an increasingly difficult time managing all of that stimuli, a very nice family, closer to the end of the line, allowed us to go before them. They had been waiting even longer than we had, and yet, they reached out and gave us a helping hand when we needed it.

The second addition came when we realized we were at the wrong gate and had to get all of our stuff together and move to another gate. I finally got Simon to sit down and was doing my very best to convince him that he could get on the plane so that we could go home. This woman came over to us and was trying to engage Simon and help distract him. He calmed a little bit and I thanked her and she walked away. Ten minutes later she returned with a stuffed animal for each of my kids - for Simon so that he could have a friend on the plane and for Alli for being such a great sister. Oh how I wish I knew this lady's name or any information about her, so that I could thank her properly.

The third came Michael at Southwest. I went up to the agent at the gate (Michael) and explained the situation. I said I just wanted to make sure that all three of us were sitting together. I didn't care where on the plane we sat, just that we were together. He changed our boarding passes and allowed us to pre-board. We were the second people on the plane and able to sit in the second row of the aircraft.

As soon as we sat down, Simon raised the armrest between us and fell asleep in my lap. He had exhausted himself with the stress of the day.

The final kind stranger who became part of our village was the guy sitting directly across the aisle from us. We both tried to get up to use the bathroom at the same time. He allowed me to go first, even though it took me longer to extract myself from Simon. And, he took our suitcases down from the overhead bin when the plane landed and we were getting set to get off. Finally, still, I got on the escalator ahead of Simon, forgetting that he had trouble navigating the escalator with his suitcase. The same guy helped talk him onto the escalator, showing him immense patience and understanding.

I expect a lot from people because I will treat others the way I want to be treated. I'm rarely disappointed. When you give people a chance to be kind, they generally are. And when they are not kind, it is rarely about you.

I did not quite expect the vast amount of kindness we received on that very long and grueling afternoon at the airport, but that's what we got. And for it, I am truly grateful.

I do not generally go around worrying that people are judging me or my children. Perhaps when your child has special needs you just have to be secure in knowing that you are doing your best and not care what others think. That being said, it is also nice to know that the people around me have realized that I am working hard to be a good mom to a kid that doesn't quite see the world the same as everyone else, and I'm trying to be a good mom to his sister, too.

I will gladly add these people to my village any day.