On...

If life is a game of cards, I go all-in, every time. What does this mean? Well, it means that in different facets of my life: parenting, family and friends, work and play, I fully invest. Does it mean that I'm perfect? Nope. I'm definitely not. As much as it would make me happy to be so, I'm human and humans aren't perfect. Does it mean that I don't make mistakes? Nope. I have made, and probably will make, a ton of mistakes. What counts isn't that I make mistakes, but how I respond to and learn from them. Does it mean that sometimes I'm dealt a lousy hand. Yep. Clearly, being in an accident, and more importantly, having Emily in the accident with me, was a lousy hand to be dealt. That's okay. I've made the best of lousy hands (and so has Em), and do what I can with the cards I've been dealt. Is there risk in going all-in? Absolutely. You don't really know what you're getting into, until you actually get into it. Sometimes, it ...

I went to visit my grandmother the other day. Recently, she had a fall,  and this resulted in a huge gash in her head, and subsequently, nine staples to put it back together. I mentioned to her that she really should ask for help rather than risk hurting herself. As I spoke these words, I saw the light bulb in my mind turn on. Reality is, I totally get why she doesn't ask for help. I don't ask for help either.  I think this realization allowed me to connect with my grandmother on a deeper level - I acknowledged how hard it must be for her to have to ask for help, to not be as independent as she once was. And, I told her that people want to help her because we love her and we want her to be safe. To say that I am fiercely independent is probably an understatement. I grew up with the belief that I could do it myself, and I pretty much always did.* For that reason, the thought of needing help, let alone actually asking for it, makes my skin crawl. Don't get me wrong, askin...

I did not see a "white light." Nor did family members, having passed before me, appear to me and tell me it wasn't my time. My life did not flash before my eyes. I didn't experience any of the things that you hear of in "near death experiences." It isn't that I don't believe that this might happen for some people, but I can say that it did not happen for me. Perhaps, though, that was because it never occurred to me that I was going to die.   I can't say one thing or another was my inspiration to survive. I'm sure my children had a lot to do with it, but mostly, I think it was my mindset. I just didn't think I would die, or that I wouldn't be okay (even if that took a lot of work). So, I sort of willed myself to stay alive, to be okay (or at least to work hard until I was).   What does that say about me? Well, perhaps it says I have unrealistic expectations (rainbows and unicorns anyone?) Or, maybe it says that I have a stro...