On Parenting

Parenting is hard. I mean really hard. I know people say its the hardest thing you'll ever do and trust me, until you are actually parenting, you don't believe it. And then, when you are actually parenting, you wonder why those people didn't really explain just how hard it actually is.

Let me start out by saying that I LOVE being a parent. I particularly LOVE being the parent of my two children. I could never have imagined that my children would be so different from one another. I could never have imagined how much I would love them.

It took us a while to have a 2nd child after having Simon. Part of the reason is because Simon is very high energy and very high-needs (not in the high-needs way of having a disability or a disease, but in the high-needs way of being a demanding only child for 3 1/2 years before his sister showed up and tried to share the show). The other part is that I was really worried that I wouldn't be able to love another child the way I love Simon.

Simon and I did everything together. We spent almost every hour of every day together (could explain the high-needs/whining/demanding/nightmares/"I don't want Daddy" issues we've been dealing with since the baby was born). I took him to the library, to Starbucks, to playgroups, to friends houses, to restaurants, to the Science Center, to the Aquarium....you get the idea. I remember when Simon was a baby, sleeping in his crib...I would go in and just watch him and I would have this overwhelming feeling of just wanting to climb in there with him and snuggle him. Not to say there weren't hard days. There were - plenty (he was colicky), but he was my buddy. What was introducing another child into the equation going to do to me and Simon? Could I possibly love another child the way I love Simon?

It turns out that in fact, I can and I do. I love Alli as completely as I love Simon, but in a whole new way. She is so different from Simon, but wonderful just the same.

Parenting is still hard. Actually, harder now that I have two, but there isn't a single second I would trade. The hard parts, the fun parts, the scary parts, they all just fill up my heart till it feels like it will burst. I'm so lucky. I hope I never forget that.

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