On...

I like symbols that mean something. I wear a necklace that has two charms, one of each of my children's birth signs,  I also have their birth signs tattooed on my stomach.  My children mean the world to me, so it is nice for me to know that I will always have a symbol that reminds me of them.  I believe that if you're going to get a tattoo, it should actually mean something important - whether you share that meaning or not.   There have been other symbols since the accident that have come to mean something.  There was a Maryland State Trooper, Jackie Kline , that was struck by a car and was horribly injured.  She was in the room next to me at Shock Trauma and then again at Sinai.  I never met Jackie. I did, however, meet some of her family.  I remember her boyfriend's mother.  She gave me a little silver coin with a guardian angel on it.  I have that angel now and often put it in my pocket when I feel like I need a little extr...

Technically, legally and by standard definition, I have disabilities.  Wow, that's hard for me to come to terms with.  I don't feel “disabled.”  I have some challenges and stuff to deal with, but am I “disabled?” I don’t believe that I am.   The term "disabled" often has a negative connotation - for those with disabilities and those without.  I would bet that a lot of people with differing disabilities do not feel “disabled.” What I've come to realize is that I have to redefine my understanding of what a disability is.  The term is often used in a blanket fashion to describe any number of diverse individuals with differing abilities and challenges Some disabilities are not readily recognized and fewer are understood by others that don't experience the same challenges.   For me, I am hearing disabled and my hand doesn't work like it should.  The hearing will never get better, but the hand might.  What I've learned is that having ...

It's weird to think that almost 2 full months of my life are a hazy blur, but they are.  I am mostly glad that I don't remember, especially the bad stuff.  Some of it though, I wish I remembered more. I remember spending the morning of the accident cleaning up the old eQ office.  We were throwing stuff away and labeling things for removal or to move it to the new office.  I remember talking about who was going to ride with whom to lunch.  I remember deciding that Emily was going to ride with me.  I remember the conversation that Em and I had in the elevator on the way down to the car. I DO NOT remember anything else from that day.  I don't remember walking to the car. I don't remember that it was raining very hard (although I've been told that it was). I don't remember getting in the car, driving, the conversation on the way to lunch, or thankfully, the accident itself. Most of the first couple of weeks in Shock Trauma were pretty hazy.  I ...

Inspiring is an interesting word. It’s a word that people have used recently to describe me. It is not a word that I would use to describe myself. I was in a car accident on October 11, 2013. I was taken to Shock Trauma where I underwent a bunch of surgeries. I had a lot of complications – too numerous to list here, but let’s just say I had some brain stuff and some hand stuff. I still have some issues – still need hand therapy and the hearing in my left ear is almost gone. But, I have beaten the odds. I am functioning at almost full capacity. I am not dead or brain dead – both of which were a higher likelihood than what has happened. So, what has happened? Well, I spent four weeks in Shock Trauma, and another 10 days at Sinai Inpatient Rehab. I worked with physical therapists, occupational therapists, speech and language therapists, and a huge array of doctors and other medical professionals. Each day I get better. Each day I am incredibly grateful for what I’ve been...

What does it mean to be broken? Are we talking about in body, mind, heart, or spirit? Well, I think that there are different levels of brokenness and even if we are broken, there are ways to compensate. For example, any adult will tell you they have had their heart broken. And a broken heart can, above many things, teach us how we want to relate to the world… What kind of people we want to be around… And how we want to act towards others. There are some people, though, that do not survive a broken heart. This brings to mind a husband that loses his beloved wife after 50 years together and then dies soon after. Fortunately, most of us can survive a broken heart and it is a rite of passage that children and teens must experience to understand adult relationships. I was broken in body. In October, I was in a horrible accident. Every bone in my face was broken, my hand needed total reconstruction. I will never regain the hearing in my left ear . Most of the things that I norm...

I love New Year's. Its always been one of my favorite holidays. There is just something about a fresh start that makes me happy. It isn't that 2009 was bad, it was pretty great, but there is just something exciting about starting a new chapter on a clean page... This year, since its also a new decade, I keep thinking about how much will change over the next 10 years for not just me, but for my kids. WOW! In this new decade, Simon will start Elementary School, he will learn to read and start to figure out his place in the world away from his parents. Alli will learn to walk and talk and go to school. They will make new friends, have a lot of fun and gain endless amounts of knowledge. All these things will be making them who they are going to be. And I am so lucky to not only witness it, but to have a role in their new decade and beyond. As for me, I feel a new hope on the horizon. I will consider myself and my new year successful if I can balance my work and mom lives (with mos...

Parenting is hard. I mean really hard. I know people say its the hardest thing you'll ever do and trust me, until you are actually parenting, you don't believe it. And then, when you are actually parenting, you wonder why those people didn't really explain just how hard it actually is. Let me start out by saying that I LOVE being a parent. I particularly LOVE being the parent of my two children. I could never have imagined that my children would be so different from one another. I could never have imagined how much I would love them. It took us a while to have a 2nd child after having Simon. Part of the reason is because Simon is very high energy and very high-needs (not in the high-needs way of having a disability or a disease, but in the high-needs way of being a demanding only child for 3 1/2 years before his sister showed up and tried to share the show). The other part is that I was really worried that I wouldn't be able to love another child the way I love Simon...